Vegas baby! The city of lights, action, and magic shows.
Las Vegas truly has it all! I only visited Sin City for the weekend, but I was able to see and experience so much! Fun fact: if you’re in the market for sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll- Vegas is the place to go! The strip is a one-stop shop for all the weed, ammo, and girls one could imagine.
My weekend Vegas adventure was the perfect dose of excitement for this small town girl! I stayed at The Venetian, which was essentially a labyrinth of shops, casinos, and live shows.
On the first day, I did not step foot outside the hotel. I was trapped and distracted by the plethora of shopping opportunities, painted ceilings, and colorful slot machines. Surprisingly, most of my money did not go to the casino; instead, it went to the food. From fresh cannolis to steamed Australian Red Snapper, I feasted like a queen. My taste buds would like to applaud Wolfgang Puck and Buddy Valastro, but my waistline declines to comment.
The rest of my weekend was filled with shows, museums, and hiking. Saturday morning, I hiked as much of Red Rock Canyon as I could. The vast, red sandstone and open road were all that could be seen in the tranquil outdoor paradise. I really could have spent my whole weekend camping in the park, but I had shows to catch and money to gamble.
After hesitantly leaving the outdoor paradise, I headed to Battlefield Vegas. At this gun range, I shot beautiful ARs, machine guns, and pistols. FYI: the weapons were all fired under the supervision and guidance of a trained (and cute) instructor. Outside the range was a wide array of historic military machinery and vehicles. From a small Russian Tank to a U.S. Huey Helicopter- it was amazing to see the evolution of military vehicles.
After the guns, I advanced to sex. I made my way across the street to a seedy and deserted sex museum. The Erotic Heritage Museum (EHM) was plastered with faded pink paint and flyers for a Penis Puppet Show. I entered the seedy looking museum as a joke, but I came out pleasantly satisfied and surprised (dirty pun). The amount of history, detail, and awareness the museum provided was remarkable! Fun fact: China’s first erotic art was displayed on ceramic plates and bottles (i.e., Snuff Bottles).
EHM was originally created by a preacher and pornographer with the hope of establishing a safe and positive ‘sex exhibition space.’ EHM not only provided me with some fun sex facts, but it also enabled me to develop a greater understanding and appreciation for sexuality and society. Besides, I can’t think of a better way to spend my Saturday! Hiking. Guns. And sex. Oh my!
My final getaway day was spent with zombies and exotic, aquatic creatures. On Sunday, I watched and laughed along with beautiful, half-naked zombies at the Zombie Burlesque Show. The highly entertaining show was set in an intimate black box theater with 50-100 guests. Beautiful and uniquely different zombies danced, stripped, and sang on the brightly lit stage.
After some sexy zombie fun, I classed things up with “O” by Cirque Du Soleil. The show was indescribable. The performance was like nothing I’ve ever seen or heard before. There was a live orchestra, zebra dancers, acrobats, synchronized swimmers, opera singers, and much more! The show left me with goosebumps and smiles for the rest of the night. I quite literally experienced the big ‘O’ that Sunday night. The time, detail, and skill that went into O are unfathomable. The artists spent half of the show swinging and jumping from peak to peak, while the other half was spent diving and backstroking through radiant waters.
All in all, I’d say Las Vegas was a success! I’ll definitely venture back for more sinful delights, but not anytime soon. Vegas is an amazing city with so much to offer! But, like the old phrase goes, “everything in moderation.” Las Vegas is fun for the first 3-4 days; after that, it’s just obnoxiously bright lights, heat, and pungent cologne.
I can’t wait to share my next adventure with you! Any suggestions?